Rants episode 1: Ed, Edd, n Eddy
by Cyber Spartan
Summary: lets see what the cast of Ed, Edd, n Eddy has to say about all the fan fiction and fan art
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to episode one of RANTS, today we are going to hear from the cast of Ed, Edd, n Eddy, now here is how it goes, each chapter we talk to one character and they talk about the fan fiction and fan art about them from pairings to character deaths here we go!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Double Dee**_

CS: Hey everyone, Cyber Spartan here, and welcome to the first episode of Rants, wtih me now is everybody's favorite sock-head, Double Dee!

Double Dee: Thanks CS.

CS: Welcome, now lets get started, a lot, and I mean a lot of girls say you are the and I quote "sexiest guy on the show" what do you think about that?

Double Dee(blushing): What? Me? No, no, I'm not.

CS: Tell that to your fan girls, next thing is...(looks at the sheet of paper and laughs uncontrolably)

Double Dee: What?

CS: You have been in more pairings than any other character from your show, you've been paired up with Nazz, May, Marie, Sarah, Ed!!!, Kevin!!, and Eddy!!!!!

Double Dee: I'm not gay!!!! Not that there's anything wrong with it but I'm not gay and Sarah is way too young, Marie and May are arrogant bitches, and Nazz is the only person I would like to be paired up with.

CS: You and almost every guy on the show and who watches the show. Anyway the next thing is that you are basically the hero in every adventure story with few exceptions.

Double Dee: Like what?

CS: Like you where the hero in a Resident Evil cross over.

Double Dee: Honestly I would cave.

CS: And you are one of the main heroes in my War of the Monsters series.

Double Dee: Good lord, I'll be killed if I really did that.

CS: Well that's all I got for you, can you bring in Rolf while you leave.

Double Dee: I'll warn him.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to episode one of RANTS, today we are going to hear from the cast of Ed, Edd, n Eddy, now here is how it goes, each chapter we talk to one character and they talk about the fan fiction and fan art about them from pairings to character deaths here we go!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Rolf**_

"Hey Rolf." I said

"Hello half Spartan, half thing-a-majig." Rolf greeted

"So Rolf, how do you feel about these stories with you going vigan?" I asked

A/N: I know that there are no stories like that

"POPPY COCK!!! ROLF WILL NEVER CHOOSE WEEDS OVER THE FLESH OF ANIMALS!!!!" Rolf shouted almost busting my ear drums

"Okay, how about these stories about you and Kevin being 'lovers'?" I asked

"What?" Rolf growled, "IN HONOR OF ROLF'S ANCESTORS, ROLF WILL PUMMLE THESE GOOD FOR NOTHINGS WITH ROLF'S SHOE!!!!!!!!"

as Rolf ranted I hid behind my chair, like that would help me

"I should stop with you and go ask Kevin"I said

"Okie dokie" Rolf walked out and Kevin came in

_**Kevin**_

"What's up Kev" I asked

"Hey CS" Kevin said, looking back at Rolf, "Was Rolf the one..."

"Yes" I cut him off

"Alright let's get this over with, I gotta go act cool over by the mall" Kevin said

"How do you feel about all these fan fics where you are paired up with Rolf, Eddy, or Doubl Dee?" I asked

"Can you give me the names of a couple of these dorks" Kevin was pissed

"I can't unless some one who wrote one of the stories said it would be alright" I informed, "anyway, what about Double Dee and Nazz being a couple?"

"WHAT?" Kevin shouted, "NAZZ IS MY GIRL, DOUBLE DORK HAS NO CHANCE WITH HER"

"I don't know, the only person Nazz kissed was Double Dee" I said

"Why does everybody love that dork?" Kevin asked

"I don't know but almost every guy Sam Vincent voices is somebody that every girl thinks is cute" I said

"Dork, who voices me?" Kevin asked

"Kathleen Barr" I said

"A GIRL?!!!" Kevin fainted and was taken away by an ambulance.

"Well people" I look at you, "Next chapter I'll be talking to Nazz and then Johnny and Plank"


	3. Chapter 3

Welcome to episode one of RANTS, today we are going to hear from the cast of Ed, Edd, n Eddy, now here is how it goes, each chapter we talk to one character and they talk about the fan fiction and fan art about them from pairings to character deaths here we go!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**NAZZ**_

"We have returned" I said, "Now we have Nazz to talk to"

Nazz entered the room and sat down

"Now Nazz, what are your thoughts on people writting about a romance between you and one Double Dee, he's the one person you have been paired up with more than any other." I asked

"What?" She asked blushing

"I don't know why I got you here," I said, "That was the only thing I got on you"

"Thanks for wasting my time" Nazz glared at me.

she stormed out after slapping me across the face

"Next up is Eddy"

_**EDDY**_

"Eddy" I said

"Spartan" Eddy said

"Let's get this over with" I said "What do you think about Double Dee getting more girls than you and Kevin?"

"Sock head is more popular than me?" Eddy said, "What are you smoking, cause it must be some good stuff"

"Dude, we're not supposed to glorify drugs" I said, "Anyway, how about you and Ed in a romance?"

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?" Eddy shouted before jumping on me and beatting me like a drum

"SECURITY!!!!!!!!" I shouted

the guards carried Eddy off

"We'll be back after these messages" I said

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We meet a brother and sister, sitting at a breakfast table, bored to tears

"This cereal is so dull" the boy said

"And to make things worse, that guy at school said that he's going to hang you by the underwear on the flag pole" his sister reminded him

"Yeah" the boy said

suddenly Justin from War of the Monsters smashes through the door and Spino roars though the window.

"Justin Thomas!!!" the kids exclaimed with joy

"Yeah, and I heard you have a boring cereal, so I am here to give you this" Justin said giving the kids a box of cereal with him nd Spino on it with an atomic explosion in the back ground

"Cool!" the kids said, "Justin's explosion flakes"

"That's right," Justin said, "Justin's explosion flakes, the one cereal that can make you tough as me"

the kids each eat a bowl and hours later the boy hanged the bully by his underwear on the flag pole

"OWWWW" The bully shouted

"The only people who hate my cereal are bullies, and I hate them so it sucks to be them" Justin said

the boy ran up and gave Justin a high five

"Now if you can enter the Megas XLR sweepstakes," Coop said out of nowere, "50,000 prize winners will win one Ultamate Megas action figure, and one grand prize winner will win all of the Megas toys and games as well a chance to ride Megas with me and Justin and spend the day with us doing what ever you want...that's legal, unless it's smashing stuff"

"Just send 60 box tops of Justin's explosion flakes and a letter saying why you should be the winner and what would you wanna do with us to the adress on the back of the box" Justin said

"Enter today!!!" the two said in Megas while flying away and Spino roars to the sky

"Contest ends January 18th" the announcer said


	4. Chapter 4

Welcome to episode one of RANTS, today we are going to hear from the cast of Ed, Edd, n Eddy, now here is how it goes, each chapter we talk to one character and they talk about the fan fiction and fan art about them from pairings to character deaths here we go!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**JOHNNY AND PLANK**_

"We are back" I said, I was now in a full body cast frm Eddy's attack.

Johnny came in and sat down with Plank.

"Johnny, Plank, how's it going?" I asked.

"What's that Plank?" Johnny asked with his ear up to Plank's "mouth"

"Plank says to blow it out your ass" the bald badger shouted in a stupid voice

"He he he, get out" I said.

"Wha?" Johnny asked

"There's nothing about you we can talk about, your not very popular" I informed, "You're about as popular as Zilla from Godzilla: Final Wars"

"Zilla's popular" Johnny said

"Yeah, from the cartoon, you're popular as the Zilla from Final Wars" I corrected

"Screw you" Johnny stormed out with plank

"Crome dome" I said.

suddenly Zilla comes in and blast me with his atomic breath and I simplly just put my face in a pillow and screamed a word that rhymes with "duck"

_**ED**_

Ed walks in and I hold my nose

"What's that smell?" I asked

"Sorry" Ed said

"Anyway, before I faint what is your thoughts on Doudle Dee's fame""

"Cool"

"Alright, and what about the yaoi stories about you and other male characters from the show" I asked

"What's yaoi?" Ed asked

"Gay paring, people see you as a gay guy who has the hots for another guy from the show" I said

"I am not gay, I love chickens" Ed said.

Disclaimer: the following joke boarders on the "M" rating.

"So what you are saying is that you love cocks" I asked trying not to laugh like Eddy

"Yes I love cocks, I can't get enough of them" Ed said.

I burst out laughing as Double Dee walks up to Ed and whispers to him what I ment when I asked my question

"Hey" Ed said, "You tricked me"

Ed ran his head into my gut and I passed out.

"We'll be back after these messages" I said

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the scene is a field of grass and a young Yatuja child and his mother hugged and waited for the return for the father.

"Yatuja," a Predator shouted "Tonight we dine in HELL!!!!"

it shows random fighting between Yatuja (predators) and Arachnids (the ailens from Starship Troopers)

then the scene shows the leader Yatuja pointing his wrist blades at an Arachnid messanger.

"This is blasfamy," the messanger said, "THIS IS MADDNESS"

"Madness" The Yatuja asked, "THIS IS YATUJA!!!!!" he kickes the messanger into a pit

"_**300 Yatuja**_" the announcer said, "Comming soon"

rated "M" for language, graphic violence, sexual content and nudity.

Suddenly Coop and Justin come in and said, "Inother words, like the real 300 movie, this story is not for kids, so don't read it if you'r under 17, we don't want to get sued or banned"


	5. Chapter 5

Welcome to episode one of RANTS, today we are going to hear from the cast of Ed, Edd, n Eddy, now here is how it goes, each chapter we talk to one character and they talk about the fan fiction and fan art about them from pairings to character deaths here we go!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Sarah**_

"We are back" I said, "With me now is Ed's little sister, Sarah"

"Hi everyone" Sarah said.

"So Sarah, what do you think about these stories about you being paired up with Jimmy?" I asked

"Jimmy's alright, if fans want to write stories about us dating it's fine" Sarah said suprisingly calmly

"Okay and the stories about you and Double Dee?" I asked

Sarah nearly fainted as I asked that question "PLEASE LET THAT HAPPEN" she begged to the sky

"Alright, you want that to happen" I said, "Seriously, what the hell is with you girls and Double Dee?!!! PLAESE TELL ME, ANY GIRL WHO READS THIS"

Sarah giggled along with everybody outside the room as I glared at the door

"Anyway, what about you and Johnny?" I asked

"Right on!!!" Johnny yelled from the other room

"You're kidding?" Sarah asked

"No" I said hiding behind my chair

Sarah leaped towards me and I pulled out a freeze ray and froze her.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" a crew member asked

"A freeze ray," I said, "I got it so I won't get beat up by everyone, we'll be back"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now on Fan The announcer said, "They thought Godzilla was gone"

It shows Godzilla exploding in Tokyo bay at the end of the climax scene of GMK

"They were wrong" the announcer said

It shows Godzilla's heart beating.

"But when the King of the Monsters comes back to resume his reign of evil," the announcer said, "Three gaurdians will save us all"

it shows Mecha-Godzilla, Gamera, and Battra roaring

"Godzilla, Gamera, Mechagodzilla: Giant Monster War" the announcer said, "this time, it's war"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Jimmy**_

"We are back," I said, "hey Jimmy"

"Hey CS" Jimmy said, shaking my hand

"Now get out" I said

"What?" Jimmy asked

"Go on, get" I said, "One you always either get killed or you go crazy and kill people, two I don't like you"

Jimmy pulled out a gum and I froze him with my Freeze ray

"Thank you for reading, next episode I will talk with..." I look at a sheet of paper, "The cast of Danny Phantom, the second most popular show on

Nickelodeon, and one show that has the most stories in the Cartoons catagory"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rants is sponsored by Justin's Explosion Flakes" Justin said, "The one cereal that makes you tough as me"


End file.
